The Art of Writing Fake Reviews
An immoral content writer’s guide
Let me preface this guide with a seven sentence lecture on morality. As content writers, we are often asked by clients to write things that might not be too moral a thing to do- in the strictest sense.
In such instances, what I do is- I ask three questions:
- Does the content have a non-zero likelihood of causing loss of life?
- Does the content have a non-zero likelihood of causing loss of money?
- Does the content have a non-zero likelihood of causing unrest?
If the answer is no, then I go ahead and take up the assignment, no matter how immoral it is.
I ask these same questions when it comes to writing fake reviews.
Now that the morality part is settled, let’s begin! Yes, writing fake reviews is an art. And every time I see fake reviews, I puke- because they are so blatantly written. Do these companies think that their customers are so dumb that they can’t tell genuine reviews from fake ones?
Companies Need To Stop Thinking That Their Customers Are Dumb
If you think you can hire some writers and tell them to write product reviews in the same way as teenagers go gaga over the ones they fall in love with- then sorry, you’re just insulting your customer’s intellect!
Look at this review on an Ayurveda Clinic
Who writes a review like this? Even if I went to doctor and found a cure to that painful disease, I wouldn’t write a review with such storification. Ofcourse, I will go gaga over the doctor- maybe call him God. But this looks like a blatant fake review. The content writer took the idea of storifying content rather too seriously.
Look At Several Reviews To Detect Patterns
If you detect any pattern among several reviews on a single product, then you can be sure that they have been written by paid reviewers.
Here’s an example:
Why are so many people talking about “great support”. Doesn’t it look suspicious to you.
Now that I showed you that it is actually quite easy to detect paid reviews, let’s dive into the actual topic- the art (and science) of writing fake reviews.
Rule 1: Don’t Go Gaga Over The Product
People read reviews to look for the red flags. If you go gaga over the product in your review, people will get suspicious- or at best find the review to be not comprehensive enough.
People need to see red flags- give them red flags! Sounds counter-intuitive? Hear me out. Include some benign, some non-damaging red flags to make your review trustworthy and reliable.
Let me give you an example: Suppose I want to write a fake review on a vibrator 😉. Here’s how I will write it (of course with the name of a woman! Duh!)
“ Awesome product. I no longer need to beg him to give me the perfect O! I’m sexually independent. One request though, make the product more power efficient. Battery drains a little fast. But that’s not a huge problem.”
You see? I did mention a con, but it’s not damaging! I didn’t go overboard with the review as well.
Rule 2: Don’t Go For Bulk Review
This is when the problem starts. When you try to get hundreds of product reviews from a single agency or freelancer, the creativity dwindles. You need to be creative to write fake reviews. Otherwise everything review will look templatised. Try to make them write not more than 20 to 40 reviews at a time.
Rule 3: Remember, It’s a Review- Not a Sales Pitch
Don’t sell your product in your review. Don’t talk too much about how good it is, how to get it etc. Focus on how it solved your (fictitious) problems.
Here’s an example:
- Low Quality Fake Review-
“Mr.X is the best insurance agent in (city name). He provides all kinds of insurance- from term insurance to health insurance. I am very satisfied with his service. His office is located in (area name). Contact him for any insurance related services”
- Good Quality Fake Review
“Mr.X is a reliable insurance agent. I took a term insurance through him and I am fully satisfied with his service. Can be recommended.”
Rule4: Don’t Be Stupid To Write Only 5-Star Reviews
Your actual buyers, the in-market audience don’t really read 5-star reviews. They read reviews having 3 stars or less. So, suppose you are busy supplying 5-star reviews, the actual frustrated consumers will be busy in providing detailed reviews on your product showcasing all sorts of negative things about it.
You need to drown these negative reviews with your fake 3-star reviews. Use the technique mentioned in Rule 1. Showcase some non-damaging negative aspects of your products!
Rule 5: Edit Your Reviews To Showcase How The Company Helped The “Customer” When He Faced Problems
People reading reviews also see, whether or not companies respond to and address negative reviews.
So, add some 3-star reviews. Then after a week or two, edit your review to tell the world how the company addressed your complaint.
Here’s an example:
Initial Review:
“I like the software. But sometimes it freezes on my AMD laptop. Other Intel-based laptops runs the software flawlessly”
Reply from the company:
“Hello, we’ve identified the issue and will come up with an update within two weeks. Please bear with us till then.”
Edited Review:
“I like the software. But sometimes it freezes on my AMD laptop. Other Intel-based laptops runs the software flawlessly.
Edit: Yes! The freezing issue is solved now”
Remember: Even after the resolution of the fictitious problem, don’t turn it to a 5 star review. Keep it 3 star.
In The End…
Yes, the internet is fake. But in the world of hate speech and aggression, fake reviews are the least of problems. Also remember:
It’s better to get one most genuine-looking fake review than to get thousands of poor quality, useless fake reviews
